I have been wanting to write a postpartum recovery post for a while, but wanted to wait until I felt fully recovered. Yes, it has taken me almost a full year to recover completely. I want to write this for my own good too so I can look back and remember what I went though because let me tell you, it was NOT an easy year of recovery. For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me but it turns out my body just needed TIME and SELF LOVE to fully heal.
I will just start from the beginning and make my way through the year, at least from what I can remember. Looking back, it is hard to remember when I was in the trenches early on.
I will start with labor because the toll it took on body was the very reason I endured a long recovery. Labor was very long and hard on my body. I went 21 hours of completely natural labor, no drugs whatsoever. NONE. Not to mention Bo was posterior which placed a huge amount of stress on my lower back. The start of labor was relatively easy, starting at 9pm on a Monday night. My doula warned me to get rest that night. But I was too excited so I stayed up most the night, pacing the house and listening to my Hypnobabies tracks on my iPod. We decided early on that I would labor at home for as long as possible. Then 9 am hit the next day and I was SLAMMED with intense pain, mostly in my lower back shooting into my hips and thighs.. I called my doula and she said I was having back labor. By 10 am, I wanted to get to the hospital ASAP, I didn't think I could do it and threatened Andrew multiple times that I wanted to get to the hospital. But my doula came to the house and we worked our way to 2 pm when contractions were 3 min apart. I finally got to the hospital and was 8 cm dilated. I went another 2 hours of intense pain, throwing up and not being able to walk. I went almost 24 hours with little water or food because I would just throw it back up. During pushing, I had intense cramping from my hips all the way down my legs. It made it very difficult to push, but thankfully it only lasted about 20 min but I truly did not think I would be able to do it. After Bodie was born, I gushed blood (TMI sorry, but its relevant), and doctors were worried I was hemorrhaging. It was not an emergency, but they were concerned I was losing too much blood so I was given pitocin to stop the bleeding. It worked but I was left very light headed and weak. Not to mention I was exhausted from no water, food, or any type of relief for 21 hours of active labor. At the time, I did not think too much about this playing into my recovery because I just assumed I would recover within a few short months. Little did I know.....
I arrived home 2 days later with a healthy baby boy. I was completely exhausted but did not let myself fully rest and refused any help from outside family or friends (mistake #1, lesson learned). Bodie was not a great sleeper from the start and we were left with sleepless nights, and even more exhausting days. The one good thing I did from the start was make sure I always had water by my side, and was constantly eating calorie dense, high fat, high protein foods. I dare not even think about exercise yet. My first bump in my recovery was getting mastitis at only 2 weeks postpartum. Mastitis is due to an infection in the breast most likely from a clogged duct from breast feeding. Woah did this ever slam me to the ground. I would go back and give birth than experience mastitis! High fever, body aches, VERY sore breasts that made breast feeding excruciating, yet I had to bear through it because of a baby that needed to eat every hour. I battled through it and didn't think it would happen again.
A couple weeks go by and I still feel totally drained, exhausted and delirious. I get my second bout of mastitis which left my body totally defeated. Just to give you an idea, think about the worst flu you have ever had, and think of it being 10 times worse. I am not exaggerating in the least. The best thing for a breast infection is rest....well, that was difficult with Bodie waking every 2 hours at night and feeding every hour during the day. I set up shop in our room and barely moved from the bed. I just nursed and stayed in bed- for a couple weeks even because I was just soooo exhausted. Thankfully, my spirits remained high and never did feel even a lick of depression...just pure exhaustion. I give credit to an amazing acupuncturist/herbalist that concocted a formula for me that kept me from feeling any postpartum blues.
Another couple weeks go by, and I go for my 6 week postpartum check up. I am deemed "recovered" by my midwife. All blood work checked out great- thyroid levels were normal (I had been on thyroid meds throughout my pregnancy but I weaned off those and my levels were perfect), my iron level was good as well. Cool! I thought I was good to go and could start picking up speed again. HA! I tried increasing my activity (by this, I mean doing more around the house and going for longer walks). I quickly found out that I was far from recovered. I would walk up a flight of stairs and my legs would SCREAM in pain. I could barely lift my own baby some days because I felt soooo weak still. I tried increasing calories, adding in more protein, fats and carbs. I worked with a lactation nutritionist to help with my diet since I could not eat dairy, eggs, or gluten due to Bodie's potential allergies. I sought out my herbalist and she helped to a degree, but for the next couple of months I was very very weak. She suggested that my birth took sooo much out of me that I was left with a year of recovery. I thought there was NO WAY it would take me a year to recover, I was determined it would take me to 6 months postpartum and I would for sure feel better. I even had very thorough blood work done and everything looked stellar. I was just not convinced that my extreme fatigue and exhaustion was still due giving birth. Especially since even lifting light weights left me in excruciating joint and muscle pain. My entire body felt inflamed and on fire.
At 4 months postpartum, with no relief in sight, I then started seeing a chiropractor because I was having intense migraines along with everything else. Not out of the ordinary for me but they were becoming very frequent. I spent a good amount of time with her, seeing her 3X a week for the next 3 months, and currently still seeing her once a week. I remember sitting in her office crying every week because I felt soooo depleted still. My chiropractor thought all my pain stemmed from Bodie being posterior from birth and pinching nerves in my lower back. Xrays showed my entire spine and neck was pretty out of sorts. Gradually, with lots of patience and trust, I started to feel better, but still had days of whole body exhaustion and joint/muscle pain. But it was a slooooow process and I wanted to give up so badly. I wanted to start working out more, but every time I lifted even light weights, my body would get angry and the next day I would be back in intense pain. I also endured FIVE more cases of mastitis in the span of 4 months. I almost gave up breast feeding but it worth every ounce of pain if it meant Bodie would get superior nutrition from me. Plus, I really loved the bonding it created between us.
Around 9 months postpartum, I found more relief and was able to add in more exercise and I was starting to go more days pain free. Though I was till not in the clear and my body was not fully recovered. I also noticed more fertility signs which gave me a good indication that my body was, in fact, healing. But my energy was still pretty low. It was not until 11 months postpartum that I actually starting having ENERGY that lasted most the day. I was able to start lifting light weights again and my body would not scream in pain the next day because of it. Slowly and cautiously, I added in more weight training and cardio and I was feeling great! About darn time! I was getting to the point where I thought I would never regain energy. I saw my doctor several more times to get thyroid panels completed and my levels were always great so I knew it was nothing hormonally wrong. I just needed to trust that my body really did need nothing but time to recover.
My next go round I will not question everything so much, and trust what every doctor was saying- your body just needs time to deal. Give it love, nutrition and rest and all will be well. But I sure do hope it is not such a painstaking process next time!
Now....when will I be ready to do this all again.....:) LOL
